This time last year I was 2 weeks away from packing up my beautiful little counselling room and walking away from a career which I had worked in, enjoyed and become competent in for 15 years and I COULDN’T WAIT!
Don’t get me wrong I loved….LOVED being a therapist and in some ways it defined me but I had pondered long and hard about the decision to change careers and it had been an exhausting slog getting to the stage where I felt confident to finally end my practice and leap into this new world of placements, essays, exams, university life, uniforms, night shifts, long days, hospitals, babies, women, families, doctors, midwives, HCAs, colleagues, blood, faeces, vomit, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork and STRESS but I was ready I WAS READY TO GO …or at least I thought I was!
What would I say to me this time last year:
“read everything you want to read which isn’t midwifery related because in a year you will feel guilty every time you pick up a non-midwifery related magazine/book”
“knit what you need to knit, sew that skirt and dress you’ve been desperate to get on with and RUN for hours in the evening when the kids are in bed whilst you still can as that time will swiftly become ‘study time'”
“play with your sons, read with your sons, cwtch them at bedtime and in the mornings before school because these are times you won’t be around for and you will be intoxicated with guilt for all the times you could’ve done this and didn’t. Enjoy taking them to school and picking them up as this will soon become a treat not a chore”
“go and visit your parents and explain to them that the next three years are going to be tough and you will work weekends and when you aren’t working weekends you will be studying over weekends as you have worked all week and yes, this is dreadful as dementia is slowly taking your dad away but drink him in now, absorb him and how he is in 2015 as 2016 will bring a bit less of him”
“go out with your husband-he’s a good, decent man and over the next 12 months he is going to prove time and time again that he can and will step up and be both parents to your sons and keep the kids fed, the house clean, the washing basket empty and the animals fed and you sane(ish) despite you doubting his ability to do any of these things at this moment in time”
“invest in the right people. You have amazing friends in your life, some will still be around this time next year and some won’t-friendships have seasons but you will meet the MOST amazing friends on this course and, along with a couple of decent friends already in your life, they will hold you and wipe your tears and tell you that you can do this despite you truly believing, in your soul, you have made a massive mistake. The friends you make over the next couple of months will be your ticket to making it through the next 3 years and hopefully the rest of your career because your midwife sisters are the ONLYpeople who truly understand what it takes to make it through this career choice. It is HARD but MY GOD it’s worth it”
“and most of all EMBRACE every opportunity….you are going to be scared at times, really scared; you’ve been really scared in your life before and you’ve managed to get through it but this will be a different fear; this is a fear of failure, a fear of actually causing harm because you don’t know what you’re doing, a fear or letting your family down, a fear of letting yourself down but don’t let the fear get in the way of being in the moment and experiencing every opportunity that comes your way because this job you are training for, this career, this vocation is a gift and a privilege and NOTHING that precious comes without a price”
Would I have heeded any of this advice….NAH! I was too excited but it’s nice to look back on and reflect!
To those about to start university-yes you’ll have doubts and you will probably cry and wonder if you’ve done the right thing at points over the next 12 months (& beyond I would guess!) but always force yourself to go and do your next shift as you just never know what might happen on that shift that confirms you’ve done the right thing! Plus-if you need support its there don’t be alone in your worry.