Receiving cars to receiving babies…. its a funny old life
During the last few days on my delivery suite placement I’ve started to experience a strange surreal feeling. Last week I was stood in theatre observing a beautiful c section birth and I zoned out momentarily.
I zoned out to my previous life, I zoned out to my customer service 9 to 5, I zoned out to reports, targets, receiving keys, checking cars, answering phones. ! BANG ! Back in the room! I’m here!!! I did it!!! I’m stood in theatre as a student midwife experiencing the start of someone’s life, experiencing the wonder of what we can create, experiencing something that is so so precious!!! Being able to share this wonder with families, from all corners of life.
The night before every shift I have a funny mix of excitement and anxiety, I pull up to the car park and sit there momentarily wondering what the day will bring, I used to have the same feelings in my old life but the difference is I get to see the most amazing things ever! I get to support women when they need support the most, I get to develop friendships with families nervous and scared waiting for what is to come, I get to work with midwives, the most underrated profession. A profession that deals with everything you can think of. How lucky am I!
So I ask myself, was it worth it?, the studying, nights of worrying about my applications, getting that dreaded ‘something has changed’ from UCAS on my email, the endless preparation for interviews, maths tests, essays, english tests, group interviews, one to one interviews, the cycle goes on and on!! Yes it is worth it, never give up, I thought I was too old and past my prime to start this amazing journey, with 3 children, a house to run and the general everyday rubbish that comes with responsibility I thought I didn’t have a chance, the lovely ladies I met at interviews out shone this ageing lady with a little tribe, by luck or miracle I was offered a chance and I took it. This time last year I was on cloud nine, I remember finding out in work I had got in, I started crying, blubbering in the office, everyone looking bemused at me!! I drove home that night in disbelief,really me???????????!!!!
So do i miss my old life?
Receiving cars or receiving babies…..